Living without Him

Nick is away on a business trip this week. I always have mixed feelings about when he goes away. I miss him terribly, and as the Police song says, "The bed's too big without you." But I'm a bed hog, so considering I sleep diagonally and use up all the pillows when he's not there, I think subconsciously part of me likes that too.

And the house is so quiet. It's lonely without him. And yeah, when he's gone I get to watch stupid girly chic flicks, not cook and just eat whatever I feel like it, but my only conversation barks and meows at me. When we were living in New Jersey and he went away, I literally worked had sparse conversations when people were not busy testing participants, and came home and did nothing. One time Nick was gone for two weeks and I thought I would go crazy by the end of the trip if I didn't talk to someone other than Batman. I wonder how stay at home mom's do it.

I'm not going to lie, it's nice to have quiet time and to be on my own schedule. This week I had a midterm and a writing assignment due and I was able to get it done without having that pull to hang out with Nick instead. Another plus was being able to stay up as late as I wanted without bothering anyone. And it was nice to be done with my midterm and come home and sit in silence so my brain could recuperate. Sometimes when you live with person you start to feel like you see them all the time and need some space. I'm pretty codependent, but even I need to have alone time and retreat into my little bubble once in awhile.

...But then I come out of that bubble and I expect Nick to be around so we can watch movies and laugh about dumb stuff and have dinner together. When he's gone, it reminds me how much of a social person I am, and I miss him terribly. I guess it's like that old saying, "men, can't live with them, can't live without them." Right now, the emphasis is definitely on the can't live without them part.