Saturday, August 27, 2011

Everyone's Got a Poop Story

I think growing up everyone had one really good story of themselves doing something hilarious and/or stupid with poop. I personally don't know what mine is, although I'm sure there is one, but I loved to share one about my brother that was more than funny enough for the two of us. And now, inspired by my friend Kerry's recent post about her daughter's soon to be famous poop story, I've decided to share that story of my brother. And I'm sure he'll either laugh a long with us, or kill me the next time I see him. But all in the name of good writing and humor, right?

So around the time when my brother was this age, we had a really hard time potty training him. I say we even though I was about 8 at the time, because it had become such a huge problem that the entire family was involved. My mom did her best to get tips from other parents and read magazines. They said things like reward with candy or make a game out of it and get them to hit a "bullseye" but nothing worked. That kid would just not use the toilet. And even when he was trained at first, he was really only semi trained as he'd continue to go in his pants and have accidents in the most inopportune of public places.

Also of note, it was around this time that my brother was going through his naked phase. That phase when kids are around 2 or 3 where they have to be naked all the time or wear clothes in a nontraditional manner. If my brother was not running around in the buff, he was wearing pants on his head, or t-shirts as skirts (really).

And this leads us to the poop part. Already, you're hearing shirt as a skirt and thinking, "yeah, that's an easy exit right there." Well, you're half right about that. One time my brother and mom were working on puzzles and my brother was squatting over one. When he made this face, looked up at my mom and smiled, then stood up and pointed to the freshly laid present he left her on a brightly colored owl. My mom smiled back at him, then looked down and her face turned to disgust when she yelled, "my favorite puzzle!" Immediately she scooped him up by the arm pits and carried him through the dining room and hallway as my brother laughed and left little bits in a trail, Hansel and Gretel style, to the kids bathroom on the other side of our apartment. As she plopped him down on the toilet, giggles kept coming as he said, "all done."

Moral of the story? Don't let kids wear kilts without undergarments, and take care of those puzzles.


kmmms said...

Brilliant! Particularly love the Hansel & Gretel trail!

Shanniel Shakespeare said...

:) I think ur bro is gonna be upsetttt....ha ha ha....He's prob Hansel's distant cousin or suppm...

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